What If: Someone Stayed Behind on the Hive Ship
by IantojJackh
Summary: My response to ladygris' 'What if' Challenge... 'What if someone had to stay behind on the hive ship in EatG to detonate the bomb' *Warning* Includes 2 character deaths
1. Rodney

A/N: My response to ladygris' 'What if' Challenge. Coming in a 497 words is 'What if someone had to stay behind on the hive ship in EatG to detonate the bomb?' lady-This was the evilness I mentioned in the review. Thanks for birth of this plot bunny

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**What if...**

"Come on, Rodney. You're almost out of time," John hissed as he watched the panicked Canadian fiddle with the control crystals of the DHD.

"I am acutely aware of how little time we have left," Rodney bit back with the tension at an all time high. Hope dimmed each second that his attempts to get the DHD to work failed.

"Five more minutes and it's going to matter," Ronon also applied pressure to make Rodney work harder.

"Because telling me that is going to make me work harder," the physicist's voice raised several octaves as it did when too much stress was applied.

Teyla had to jump in and play mediator, "Rodney is working as hard as he can. I don't think badgering him is going to help the situation."

The men looked to Lorne to join their side, but it did not work, "Teyla is right."

"Thank you, voices of reason," McKay said with a snide smirk, glancing over at the two impatient men. "Because dying is on my list of things to do for today. And yes, that was sarcasm." He added in case there was any doubt. After thirty seconds Rodney made a happy sound, "I got it." He was proud of his accomplishment.

"See a little pressure never harmed anyone," John gave his friend a pat on the back. "Good job, Rodney. Dial the Alpha Site."

Rodney nodded and quickly punched in the address and breathed a sigh of relief when the wormhole engaged. "Go," he barked the command to his teammates.

John watched as Teyla, Ronon and Evan went throughout the gate and he held his hand out to the last member, "I'll set it off just before I go through."

"Good luck," Rodney began to hand over the detonator. "Oh, crap..."

"What?" Sheppard knew by the tone the news was not good. "Tell me you can fix whatever it is."

McKay's face grew pale, "The detonator lost the connection to the bomb." He swallowed hard, "Looks like it was on my list after all." There was no hint of sarcasm this time.

"It doesn't have to be you. I can do it," John was the military man and knew he should be the one to sacrifice himself.

Rodney shook his head, "What do you know about a nuclear bomb? What if something goes wrong? Literally, the fate of Earth depends on it. It has to be me."

"Rodney..." he was at a loss for words.

"Just do one thing for me."

John hated to admit to Rodney was right, "Sure. Anything."

Rodney reached into his shirt and pulled out a chain with a gold band on it, "Take care of her for me and tell her I'm sorry." He could hardly get the words out because of the lump in his throat.

"Oh, Rodney," the lost man did not know what to say. "I will." Those were the only words he could offer the man who was sacrificing himself for humanity.


	2. John

A/N: Comes in at 500 on the dot.

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The moment John rematerialized at the Alpha Site the gravity of what had occurred fully sunk in; Rodney had sacrificed himself so over six billion people could survive. It was a sacrifice that only a few would ever know about and it hardly seemed fair that there would be no recognition for the incredible feat of bravery. A shock to those who knew **of** him, but not to those who **knew** him. Sheppard looked at the chain in his hand and fully realized what it meant; Rodney had just made Jennifer a widow. There were many questions he had: _When did you do it? Why didn't you tell me? How am I supposed to tell her?_

"Where is McKay?" Lorne asked after the wormhole disengaged.

"The detonator. It failed. He had to set it off manually," his eyes jumped between the group. Disbelief was on everyone's face.

"There's still a chance he got off the ship," Ronon felt as if this was a joke being played on him. "He's going to come through any second now."

John held up the chain, "He gave me this and told me to take care of Jennifer for him."

Teyla put a comforting hand on John's arm, "He saved everyone on your planet. Rodney died a hero." A single tear rolled down her face, knowing life was not going to be the same without Rodney. "I did not know Jennifer and Rodney had gotten married."

"Neither did I. This is going to kill Jennifer." It was like he was frozen in place and the world was spinning without him.

"This is McKay we're talking about. He'll find a way off," Ronon shook his head. He refused to believe that Rodney was gone. They had come close to dying so many times he felt as if they could pull through anything.

"Let's wait a few minutes to see if he finds a way off," Teyla felt as if there was no hope, but she did not want to rob the others of a few minutes of it.

The group stood in absolute silence for ten minutes, holding out hope that Rodney would make a last minute appearance. When the gate remained lifeless after another five minutes John finally spoke up, "He's not coming back. Dial the gate." He always thought he and Rodney would die together and not leave him with the impossible task of telling his wife and sister he was never coming back.

"Maybe he found an escape pod and is just floating there, waiting for someone to get him," Ronon still refused to see the obvious.

John shook his head. As much as he would liked to believe otherwise he knew that he was never going to see one of the best friends he ever had again. There would be no more late night RC races on the east pier. No more computer golf tournaments. No more laughing at each other's stupid jokes. Losing a brother is not something you recover from.

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**TBC: **Breaking the news to Jennifer


	3. Jennifer

A/N: Sorry for the need of tissues for this one. Just giving fair warning. Comes in at 499 words. Please read and review

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**Breaking the News to Jennifer**

Jennifer paced the infirmary floor, fiddling with the chain around her neck. It had been a couple of hours since Atlantis landed and she had not heard anything other than that everyone was being debriefed about the events on the Hive Ship. She mentally cursed military protocol because the only thing she was concerned about was finding out that Rodney was okay. It wasn't the first time he had gone on a dangerous mission, but since they exchanged vows two weeks ago she worried about him more than before.

"You are going to wear a hole into the floor, lass. I'm sure everyone is fine," Carson tried to alleviate the woman's fear.

"I know that, but I have this sick feeling that everything didn't go as planned. I just cannot shake it."

"You've been spending too much time with Rodney. That's something he would say. Are things getting that serious between you two?" Carson never expected that his friends would become a couple and the few times he was on Atlantis the two seemed inseparable.

"They are," she hated lying to her mentor, but she and Rodney had been waiting for the right time to share their news. Jennifer's ears perked up as she heard John's voice yelling from down the hall. "About time."

When only four people came in the female physician looked to John for answers. The expressions on everyone's face told her the answer of the question she was about to ask, "Where's Rodney?"

This was the moment John had been dreading most, "There was a problem and the bomb had to be detonated manually. Rodney wanted me to give you this." He handed over the chain and ring to the widow.

Time all but stood still as Jennifer felt like someone had just cut open her chest and ripped her heart out. The only sound she heard was the rush of blood in her ears, "I've got to go." She numbly took the chain. The grieving widow wanted to be alone and shook off the hands laid upon her. There were words spoken to her, but they never reached her ears.

Jennifer found herself sitting on the edge of their bed after what seemed like an endless journey to their quarters. One of Rodney's t-shirts lay in a ball at the foot of the bed. She picked it up and clutched it to her chest, inhaling the lingering scent of Rodney's aftershave.

Since their wedding night, the couple started to plan their future together, but now none of those events would happen. There would be no anniversaries to celebrate. No children to be had. No grandchildren to spoil. No growing old together. No one to make you laugh after a bad day. No one to hold you tight when the world is falling apart. No one cuddle on a cold winter's night. Never again would she wake to the tickle of his breath on the back of her neck. Half a heart was forever lost.


	4. Richard and Thomas

A/N: 506 words for this one. A little over, but it couldn't be helped. Please read and review.

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**Richard and Thomas**

After leaving the infirmary, John headed to Woolsey's office to tell him Of Rodney's sacrifice. He was sure the leader knew, but he still wanted to tell Richard himself.

"Come in, Colonel Sheppard," Richard knew what he had come to say. He knew that no one had accepted Rodney's death yet and it would be a while before it did. "Have a seat."

John took one of the free chairs in the office, "I cannot believe that he's really gone. You know it doesn't seem real."

"Understandable. Dr. McKay will be missed greatly by everyone. I know this is not the best time to bring this up, but the Navy is sending someone to tour the city. They want to see why they had to set up the quarantine. They requested a meeting with all department heads," Woolsey said. "Radek will represent the science team. As for the medical team..." he was not sure who should attend.

"What about Carson? He ran the department before Jennifer." It was the next logical choice.

"Speaking of which, how is Dr. Keller doing?" Richard was concerned for the woman.

"Numb," was the only way to describe Jennifer's state of mind. "Its going to be bad when reality hits."

"At least she can take comfort in knowing her husband died saving everyone," Woolsey sighed.

"I don't think it matters. She lost someone who means the world to her. Nothing will take away from that pain." John realized something, "You knew they were married?"

Richard nodded, "They informed me after the ceremony two weeks ago."

Both men looked up at the knock at the doorway.

_Looks like the Navy guy is here. _Johnstood up and saluted the uniformed man, "Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard."

"Captain Thomas Keller," he returned the salute.

The two Atlantis personnel exchanged glances, both having the same question.

"Richard Woolsey."

Tom was in awe of his surroundings. He never imagined anything like this was possible until he was briefed half an hour ago on the Stargate Program, "This is quite a place you have here, gentlemen. Congratulations on your victory today."

"Forgive me for being forward, sir, but do have a daughter, Jennifer who is a doctor?" John asked. It be an eerie coincidence if of all people the Navy sent Jennifer's father, but it was something the woman needed right now.

"I do. How did you know that?" Tom wanted to know how they knew.

"She's our chief medical officer, sir," John replied.

"So this is the job she couldn't talk about," it was hard news for him to swallow that his daughter had been involved in this craziness. "Then that boyfriend of hers is a part of this too?"

John frowned at the question, "Rodney, does...or did. I think we should postpone the meeting and tour. Jennifer needs you right now."

Tom could tell that John was close to his daughter, "What's wrong with her?"

"Rodney died today, saving everyone and she is not taking losing him well," Sheppard said.

"Please take me to her."


	5. Daddy and Daughter

**Daddy/Daughter**

Tom followed John to his daughter's room and found the quiet around him to be unsettling. It seemed the whole base was still in shock over losing one of their own and it showed how much Rodney meant to everyone. The Navy Captain had met Rodney only once when Jennifer had been home six months ago. It wasn't a lot of time to get a read on him, but it was obvious that his daughter was crazy about him.

"Here's their room, sir," John stopped in from of the door and waved his hand over the sensor.

"Thank you," Tom didn't know what to expect when he saw Jennifer. It was hard when he lost his wife a few years ago and could imagine what his daughter was feeling. "They lived together?" he hadn't talked to Jennifer in about two months and didn't know how serious the relationship had become.

John nodded in affirmation and was shocked that the couple didn't even tell family they got married. He waited a minute when Jennifer didn't answer and used his override to unlock the door. "For three months. If either of you need anything, sir..."

Tom silently nodded in thanks and watched as John walked away. He then turned and saw Jennifer on the bed with her back toward him.

Jennifer had heard the chime go off and the door open, but she was not in the mood for company. She was still curled up clutching Rodney's t-shirt and had moved her wedding band from the chain on her neck to her finger. Tears had yet to fall. This all did not seem real and she expected to woken up by Rodney whispering in her ear.

"Jennifer," the father called out.

She turned around, stunned to hear her father. "Dad? What are you doing here?" Jennifer sat up and looked at the older man.

Tom explained why he was here, "Colonel Sheppard told me what happen. Jen, I'm sorry about Rodney."

Jennifer blankly stared at her father, "He's coming back. My husband is going to walk through that door any minute."

_Husband? _He saw the ring on her finger. "Jen, sweetie," Tom sat on the edge of the bed. "You got married?"

"Two weeks ago. Sorry we didn't say anything. We wanted to wait to tell everyone. Why did he have to do this? Why did he have to leave me?"

It broke his heart to see Jennifer this upset, "From what I heard none of us would be here if it weren't for Rodney." Tom was proud that Jennifer had married some one courageous enough to sacrifice himself for so many. "You should be proud of your husband. He died a hero."

Jennifer shook her head, "I know what you are trying to do. Please don't." Tears finally started to fall. "I just want Rodney back. We made plans and now they will never happen. I never got to say goodbye. Didn't get to tell him I loved him this morning. With all the chaos I never got the chance."

"Jen, I'm pretty sure he knew," he pulled his daughter into his arms and let her cry on his shoulder until there were no more tears left. Tom had always promised to break the legs of any man who broke his daughter's heart, but he never imagined it would be broken like this.

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A/N: Comes in at 562 words. A little long, but I couldn't help it


	6. Carson and Radek

**Carson and Radek**

"Rodney is gone," Carson stood across the table from Radek, both men clearly in shock. It was an odd concept to digest. The men had not been as close as they were before Carson came back, but there was always a special place in his heart for the Rodney.

"I expect him to walk through the door any second yelling about someone's stupid mistake," Radek stared blankly at the computer screen before him. He casually looked up expecting to see Rodney standing there, but of course, there was nothing but empty space. "As much as he was a pain, Rodney always came through when it counted the most and this time he saved an entire planet and no one is going to know what he did." Radek sighed and wiped the few tears from his eyes.

"We know what he did," the former CMO had a heavy heart. "I can't imagine what Jennifer is feeling right now. To lose a husband so soon after you get married. It's not right."

The small scientist laughed ruefully, "I can't tell you how many times I've walked in on them kissing in this lab. She really brought out a side in him that I wish was there all the time." Radek probably put up with the most from Rodney, but deep down he knew he was a good person. "It's not going to be the same without him." Part of him wondered if the city would be able to function without Rodney.

"Aye, that it won't. He put so much of himself into this city. It's hard not look around and be reminded of something he did," Carson felt himself getting choked up. "I got a second chance and the same should go for Rodney."

Radek scratched the back of his head, looking for the right words. There were none that could adequately describe what he felt. There were many nights when the two scientists would be in the lab until the wee hours of the morning, bouncing ideas back and forth. There was a lot of bickering, but most of the time they would come up with a solution to the problem they were working on. At the time it did not mean much, but looking back Zelenka realized it was because on some level subconsciously or not that McKay valued his input even if he would not admit it. "I'll miss him."

"Me too," Carson frowned. "I can still picture him yelling at me in Antarctica to get in the drone chair or what about the time he had Laura Cadman in his head," it wasn't amusing at the time, but now he could have a good laugh about it.

"Did you know that when you were in stasis that Rodney would visit you almost every day and talk to you about what was happening? Jennifer and I would catch him on occasion and he would pretend he was doing something else." Radek felt that Carson deserved to know that. It was one of the many sides of the recently departed man that showed when he thought no one was looking.

The information surprised Carson, "I had no idea. Even in death he still surprises me."

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A/N: A little over 500 words. Next up is Sam.


	7. Sam

A/N: Next piece of this. It's unbetaed so errors belong to me. PLease R&R. Thank you.

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**Sam**

Sam sat in the briefing room at the SGC staring at her hands. It was just like any other day, saving the world from alien threat, but losing someone was always difficult and some people were more difficult to handle than others were. Carter had not expected that the news of Rodney's death would hit her as hard as it did. She could not forget the arrogant pig that she had met in this very room eight years ago. The Rodney that sacrificed himself today was very different from the one whose arrogance got him shipped to Russia for six months. The man eight years ago would never have performed such a feat of heroism and the man today did not even think twice about giving his life so that others could live. During his time on Atlantis Rodney had really come into his own. She had seen then change when she first took over as the expedition leader and saw him develop more in her year there.

"Sam, you okay?" Daniel asked, drawing the woman from whatever world she was in.

"I'm fine," she took a deep breath and leaned back in the chair. "Just thinking," Carter ran her hands over her face.

"About McKay?" the archaeologist asked. Word had spread quickly through the SGC about what happened and Daniel heard the whispers that some could not believe it.

Sam nodded, "I can't believe he did that. Actually, I can. He had really changed in the last few years. I'm going to miss him."

Daniel nodded, "In a way we all will. It's hard to dislike someone who did what Rodney did." He recalled when the rogue Asgard had kidnapped the two of them and how Rodney had only said nice things to him when he thought Daniel was going to die, but he had been instrumental in turning off the weapon and ultimately getting them saved. "He always had a thing for you."

The Colonel smirked, "He used to, but I never gave him the time of day. In my year on Atlantis, we found a new level of respect for each other and by the end, I considered him a good friend. It helped that he gave up on the crush he had on me."

"It took him a while to give up on that."

"I never told him this, but in an alternate reality we had been married. They were divorced, but there was something she must have seen in him. It was probably the same thing Dr. Keller saw in him." Sam was happy that he had found someone who loved him with all his flaws. She had seen a spark between the two when they were trapped in the mine and it was not a shock when a year later she learned they had become a couple. "He refused to leave me when we were trapped in the mine. Built a seat to lower me despite the cuts to his hands." She was definitely going to miss him, more than she would ever admit.


	8. Laura and Katie

**A/N: Unbetaed, mistakes are mine alone. **

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**Laura and Katie**

When Laura heard the news of Rodney's death, she thought it was a joke until she saw the grim expression of Colonel Carter and knew it was no joke. She had a unique relationship with Rodney given that she had spent several days inside his head. It was not a time she liked to remember, but she enjoyed having fun at his expense over the experience. "I always knew you had it in you, McKay. Well played," the Lieutenant smiled fondly. Cadman had last seen Rodney when he was on leave and she regretted not saying anything to him, but he seemed otherwise occupied. A certain red head came to mind and she wondered if Katie had heard the news yet.

Katie had just stepped off the elevator when Laura came running toward her. Since the two women had been stationed at the SGC they had become friends, closer than the acquaintances they had been on Atlantis. "Laura, what is it?" the other woman had been in a rush and obviously needed tell her something.

The military woman did not want to her friend to hear this news from the whisperings that were going around the base. Even though the couple had broken up a year and half ago, Laura knew the red head was not fully over her ex. "Come with me," Cadman took the botanist by the arm.

"What's going on? What's with the extra security? Did something happen?"

She was going to ease into breaking the news, "A Wraith Hive Ship was ready to attack, but some people from Atlantis were able to board the ship and destroy it before it started firing. Right now Atlantis is sitting in San Francisco Bay."

"Okay," Katie was not sure why the other woman was telling her all this.

Laura put a hand on Katie shoulder, "Apparently there was a problem on the Hive Ship. I'm not sure of the exact details, but someone had to stay on the ship and manually detonate the bomb and it was Rodney who volunteered to stay behind."

Katie did not know what to make of the news. With the way things ended between them, she was still peeved a year and half later, but she also still had some feelings for him. Feelings like that do not die easily and selflessness did not sound like the Rodney she knew. "That can't be right," her voice cracked.

"I'm sorry," Cadman pulled her friend into a hug. "I know things ended badly with him and you still cared for him."

The botanist sighed, knowing Laura was right. There was something about Rodney that once he wormed his way into your heart he never left. She had been upset with herself that she had been away when he was at the SGC six months ago because she wanted to see how he was doing. She had sent him an email several months after her return to Earth and it had gone unanswered, but Katie found out a month ago that Rodney had been gravely ill when she sent the message. "He really sacrificed himself?" Katie had seen small snippets of a man capable of that kind of sacrifice in their time together, but it was few and far between. "He must have really changed since I left."

Laura nodded, "He always had it in him." She thought the time she had spent in the physicist's head gave her a unique insight into the workings of his mind. "His ego would have loved this. Credit for saving the world by himself. I'm going to miss messing with his head. He was a good guy under that gruff exterior," she spoke the truth, but also hoped to give Katie some comfort in her words.

Katie twisted her hands, "Sometimes I wonder what would have been if that lockdown never happened. I imagine what life could have been like. Is it stupid to think that?"

Cadman shook her head, "Not at all. You had something with him and it's not something you get over."

The sad woman opened her mouth, but someone bumped into her. "Sorry," Katie said even though it was the man's fault. The older man dressed in a Navy uniform was on his phone in an intense conversation which she did not pay attention until the end.

"I understand sir, but can you please send someone else for the meeting?...I'm about to return to San Francisco... Jenny really needs me now... It was her husband who sacrificed himself... I didn't know either. They got married two weeks ago...I will pass your message along...Thank you, sir."

Katie's world came crashing down as the Navy man's words sunk in. The far off hope that Rodney had been waiting for her were as dead as he was. As if news of her ex's death was like a stab to the heart, to hear he had moved on and got married made the small wound a deep and flowing one. All she could do was cry into her friend's shoulder.

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A/N: Next up is Jeannie which will go up soon. Please read and review.


	9. Jeannie

A/N: Thanks to my beta Shadow for reviewing this one. Please R&R. Thank you, readers for your previous reviews.

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**Jeannie**

John hated to be the one to have to do this. He already had to tell Jennifer and now he was about to break the news to Jeannie. He still had not full processed the idea that he would never see his friend again. He had kept his mind busy since his return to Atlantis and now he stood at Jeannie's front door, waiting for the door to open.

Jeannie had been running late in getting Madison to school when she heard the knock. "Coming," she called from the couch where she was tying her daughter's shoes. "Wait here, sweetie," she headed to door. "John, what are you doing here?" the woman scrunched up her nose in confusion. It had been almost two months since she last heard from her brother and wondered why his friend was here.

He would have loved to say he was in the neighborhood for a visit. "Can I come in for minute?"

"I was about to take Maddie to school. Can this wait?" She was in too much of a rush to notice that John was upset.

John shook his head and adverted looking at Jeannie in the eyes, "It can't." He saw Madison sitting on the couch and gave the girl a small wave. "Can you send her to her room?" Sheppard did not want the girl to hear what he was going to say even if she was not going to understand the ramifications.

Jeannie felt her heart drop to her stomach. There was only reason he would make a request like that. "Maddie, can you go to your room for a few minutes. I have to talk to your Uncle Mer's friend." She knew the news was going to be bad and she had to brace herself for it. After her daughter was gone, the worried woman turned back to John, "How bad is it?"

The lump return and John was not sure he could do this. He began to recount what happened, feeling tears sting the corner of his eyes, "Rodney did what he thought he had to do. The bomb had to be detonated manually or the ship would have destroyed Earth."

"My brother is dead," she blinked a few times before breaking down into hysterics.

"Jeannie, I'm sorry," there were no other words he could offer.

"I haven't talked to him in two months and he's dead. Just like that. Why would he do that?" Jeannie asked between sobs.

John took the crying woman into a comforting embrace, "He didn't trust anyone else to do it. If something went wrong, he was the only one who knew how to detonate it. He was a stubborn perfectionist to the very end."

"That's Meredith for you," she drew a shaky breath. "Was he scared?"

"Not at all. He was very determined. He seemed to accept that was his fate," he knew it was un-Rodney like to be as calm as he was in his final moments.

Jeannie could not be more proud of her brother. She felt her legs start to shake; "I think I need to sit down." her head was swimming and felt as if she would be sick any moment.

John helped her to the couch and sat down next to her, "It hasn't hit me that he is really gone. It's been like I've been in this fog since yesterday."

"Was there something going on with him?" The grieving sister asked.

"What do you mean?" he replied. Rodney had been the same old Rodney except a lot happier.

Jeannie sighed as more tears fell, "Ever since he came for a visit six months ago he had been sort of distant and infrequent with emails. It wasn't like him." She was trying to wrap her head around why her brother had been sliding back into the brother she had before they reconnected.

John shrugged, "I don't know. Ever since he came back from that trip he was in a good mood."

"Did I do something to make him mad?" That upset her more because she would never get to apologize for something she had no idea what she did.

"He never mentioned anything to me," he lied. Rodney had complained to him for three hours straight one night about the fight he had with his sister. "Did something happen when he was here?"

Jeannie shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know. I told him I didn't like that doctor who treated him when he was sick. At first I was grateful that she had saved him, but once I got home and throughout about it I realized how reckless she had been and that it should not have come down to what it was."

John winced at the realization, "You mean Jennifer?"

"Yes, her. That's why he's was distant? Because of some woman?"

Sheppard nodded. He would have expected Jeannie to not know about the wedding, but it became clear that she had no idea the two had become a couple. John could almost picture how it went down: Rodney had just gotten back from their first date and was probably in a good mood and when he tried to tell Jeannie about it she launched into a rant on Jennifer and taking that as a rejection he never said anything again to her about it.

"This is so typical of him. Was it for revenge?" Jeannie started to break down. As much of a pain her brother was she never wanted him to die. She never meant all the times that she said she hated him when growing up. It was something siblings always said to each other when deep down there was always a special bond. Jeannie was the last person alive that was born with the McKay name. There would be no more bouncing ideas off each other. She would miss him complaining about having to eat tofu. It tore at her that he would never get to experience the love of a child or knew what it was to find someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. _Why did he have to be so focused on work_? There was only one question that mattered to her now, "Was he happy?"

A smile formed on John's face, "He was very happy."


	10. Finding Out

A/N: Unbetaed so mistakes are mine. Please read and review. Thank you for those who review and to those who read and don't review.

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**Finding Out**

Jeannie was relieved that John got permission for her to come to Atlantis. She felt it would give her some comfort to be in the place that had been her brother's life for the last five years. People would come up to her and tell her stories of her brother. Some of them brought a smile to her face and others brought tears as these people got to see a side of Rodney that she never did. It was clear the city would never be the same without the chief scientist. She was not able to shake the feeling that John was keeping something from her. The grieving sister wanted to know what had been going on in the last few months of her brother's life. After some wandering, Jeannie found not far from Rodney's quarters. She wanted to spend time in the room, a small step on her way say a final goodbye.

Radek was about to retire to his room for the night when he saw Rodney's sister roaming the hall, "Jeannie." He did not know what to say to her, like her he still was in some state of shock even a day later.

"Radek," she wiped her eyes. "I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

"What is it?" the Czech wondered what she needed and he would do anything he could to help.

Jeannie wrapped her arms around herself, "I was wondering if you could let me into my brother's room. I just want to feel close to him. I know it sounds weird, but..." she saw the strained look on the man's face. "What is it?" this had to be more of things being kept from her.

Zelenka knew she did not know about Rodney's marriage and about a month ago when the Canadian had been in a particularly foul mood after a lover's spat with Jennifer, he mentioned that Jeannie had not been fond of the blonde doctor and that he never told his sister that they had begun dating, "I'm sorry, but it's not possible."

Jeannie was about protest when John came out of the room, shaking his head.

John sighed and rubbed his face. It gnawed at his insides to see how destroyed Jennifer was. He had seen how much the two meant to each other and at times, he found watching the couple when they were together. It was easy to see that they were made for each other and now to see one without the other it was clear this was nothing Jennifer would ever recover from. The woman had been silent and just stared at the wall while clutching one of Rodney's dirty shirts like it was a security blanket. "Jeannie...Radek," his voice was strained.

"How is she?" Radek asked, but the expression on John's face said it all.

"I don't know. Somewhere between shock and denial. She isn't saying anything. She's just laying there and staring at the wall. I'm sorry, Jeannie that I didn't tell you sooner," John said apologetically.

"Tell me what? I knew there was something you weren't telling me. I'm his sister and I just wanted to get into his room. Who's in there?" the grieving woman lost her temper, but kept it in check to prevent a full meltdown.

"His wife. Rodney got married two weeks ago," the news would have eventually made its way to Jeannie.

"Married? My brother got married and didn't tell me?" Jeannie was stunned by this news.

"They didn't tell anyone. He knew how you felt about Jennifer. I only found out when he gave me his ring before ..." John could not finish the sentence. John knew what had gone down between the siblings and it is why he avoided telling Jeannie the whole truth. "Jennifer really loves him and he loved her. I've never seen two people..." he did not know if the words would make any difference.

"So happy," Jeannie remembered when John had said that Rodney had been happy. "You said he was happy."

Sheppard nodded, "They were. I thought it would only be a matter of time before they got engaged. None of us knew they were one step ahead of us."

"And he thought I would ruin his happiness? Is that why he didn't say anything?" those questions made Jeannie start to cry again. She had thought he died not knowing unconditional love and now to hear he had found it and to have it only for a short time. Had Jeannie known she would lose her brother she would have made herself appear happy that he had found happiness with Jennifer. When Rodney had visited her six months ago, she knew he was excited about something, but he never told her what after she expressed her dislike for Jennifer. She wished she could have made the connection.

John finally had enough and for the first time since Rodney handed him his ring he let tears come to his eyes. He had to be strong to break the news to Jennifer and then to Jeannie, but no one had stopped and asked how he was holding up. Jennifer lost a husband. Jeannie lost a brother. He too lost a brother, a best friend, closer than his own blood. Everyone had looked him for answers as to why Rodney did what he did and why the newlyweds never told anyone about the wedding. John did not have an answer for either question and all he could offer was that he saw a determination that he had never saw before in Rodney's eyes and there was no way of talking him out of it. "I don't know. He didn't tell me everything. Try to talk to Jennifer. She might have those answers you are looking for. If you will excuse me I have a meeting to get to." The meeting was a ruse, as the emotional man needed time alone.

Jeannie watched as John retreated from her and Radek. She did not want to talk to the woman that had almost killed her brother a year ago, but how could she despise the woman that made her brother's last months the happiest of his life. "I need time," the crying woman held her hand up and left the Czech alone.

* * *

After an hour of wandering aimlessly, John found himself in the lower levels of the east pier. In one hand, he held his RC and the other was Rodney's. His eyes were damp as he placed each of the cars in their normal starting position. "You know, buddy I bet you are getting a kick out of this from up there. You didn't think we would all miss you like this. Why did you have to go and do something so stupid? You should be celebrating your honeymoon and not making your wife plan your funeral. I'm curious as to why you and Jennifer didn't tell anyone you got married. It wasn't like we weren't expecting it one day. I would have liked to have been there for you, but I'm sure you had your reasons. I know what you are probably thinking, that I'm an idiot for crying. I don't care because I am really going to miss you. You are my best friend. My brother and this place is not going to be the same without you. This race is for you," John laid down the remote control for his car and took control of Rodney's car for one final race for him to win. "I love you, my brother," the grieving man could no longer see through the tears that poured from his eyes.


	11. The Talk

**A/N:** Only a handful of chapters left in this one. Thank you to all that have taken the ride in this emotional story. This has been one of the hardest stories for me to write because of the high emotional content of each chapter. And thanks to my Beta Shadow for helping me through this chapter. Please read and review

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**Chapter 11- The Talk**

Jennifer used the late night quietness of the mess hall to her advantage. She did not want to have to deal with people coming up to her as she just wanted to be left alone. None of this felt real and the widow expected to wake up in the embrace of her husband with his lips tickling the back of her neck. Her hands went to the back of her neck as if the feeling of Rodney's lips were permanently imprinted there. The physician sighed heavily as she looked at the night sky, pulling the sweatshirt tightly around her. She had taken it from Rodney's side of the closet and knew this would be the closest she would get to being in his arms again. Jennifer heard the word hero being used to describe what Rodney's dying act made him. The word bought no comfort to her as his final act saved billions of lives but it destroyed the lives of those closest to him. Their life together was too short and some might say not enough time to get to really know a person. To anyone who dared to speak such harsh words she would accuse them of never finding their sole mate because once you find that person it does not matter if you spent one day or one hundred years with them, losing that person is losing a part of yourself.

The distracted physician paid no attention to the french fries in front of her. They were picked up out of habit, a side dish Rodney and her usually shared several times a week. She was not even hungry and only left the room because she felt Rodney's presence strongly as if he was lying next to her and whispering into her ear. His last words rang repeatedly in her ear: _We'll pick this up later, I promise._ The breathy words had been whispered into her ear as Jennifer was sandwiched between Rodney and his desk and she could still feel his hands as they worked their way up her sides under her shirt. The intense kiss had left her speechless and looking back it was almost like he knew it would be their last. _But why did he say we'll pick it up later? _After ten minutes of playing with her food, Jennifer threw out the plate and headed to the last place she saw her husband alive.

* * *

The news of her brother's marriage did not sit well with Jeannie and the fact that they did not tell anyone made it worse. Something did not sound right about it and she wondered if there was something behind the sudden rush to get married. There was only one person left who could answer that and Jeannie was not ready to confront Jennifer yet. More like she did not know what to say to her. When she had met the physician when her brother had been sick, Jeannie had had formed the opinion that Jennifer was a power hungry narcissist who had done everything in her power to make up for her mistakes when she had missed the parasite.

Not sure where to go, Jeannie found herself in Rodney's lab. It was the closest she could get to finding the answers she sought. The grieving sister sat in the chair and spun herself around, wondering how much time he had spent here in recent months. She did not see anything personal on the desk at first, but Jeannie then saw a glint of silver under some paper. "Oh, Mer. I had no idea," she looked at the framed photo of Rodney and Jennifer. Jeannie looked at the photo and could see how they happy they were in the picture and thought her initial assessment of the woman was wrong. John had said they had been happy, but hearing the words was different than seeing the way they looked at each other when they thought no one was looking. It reminded of her the way she and Kaleb used to look at each other.

Jennifer stopped short when she heard the familiar squeak of Rodney's chair in his lab. Her breath caught in the back of her throat. _Get a hold of yourself, Jennifer. He's not coming back no matter how much you wish it so. You are on your own now. No one will ever love you like he loved you. Who are you kidding? You will never love any one like that again. You had your one chance at true love and it's gone. You shouldn't have decided to wait six months before trying to get pregnant. Why couldn't the Wraith have waited a week and there could have been a chance that a life could have been growing in you? Now you only have your memories. _The tears started again as a small ounce of hope was renewed that when Jennifer turned that corner she would see Rodney sitting in the chair, but deep down Jennifer knew he would not be there. Her hand clenched around Rodney's ring that she had kept around her neck since John handed it back to her.

* * *

_"It's better here," Rodney touched the ring through his shirt. "That way it is closer to my heart, where you will always be."_

_"Since when did you become one for sappy sentiments?" Jennifer smiled down at the man who's head was resting comfortably in her lap, her fingers slowly ran though the short hairs._

_He pretended to think about an answer, "About the same this hot blonde with a great ass became my wife. Not so sappy when I put it that way?" A smug smirk spread across Rodney's face_

_She tried to be stern with him_, _but the smirk made Jennifer melt, "Crazy man." The physician started tickling her husband until her begged her to stop and he retaliated by ticking her until they had fallen off the bed, both hysterically laughing. The laughter only to be silenced by a passionate meeting of their lips._

* * *

Jennifer scowled when she saw Jeannie sitting in the chair. The thought of Rodney's sister never crossed her mind as she had been too lost in her own grief and lingering resentment of what happened between her and Rodney. When the upset man told her about the fight with his sister he did not hold back with then words that Jeannie had used to describe her and his retort. Jennifer had never seen him more upset than that day and that is when the couple made a promise to live each day as it were their last. The widow could not bring herself to speak to the other woman because she was afraid that the words would not be kind and that once she started she would not be able to stop.

Jeannie felt as if she was being watched and turned to see the blonde woman looking at her. Jennifer looked dishevelled and her eyes were swollen and red, clearly she was a broken woman. "Jennifer..." she did not know what else to say.

The physician opened her mouth to speak and no words came forth and Jennifer spent several minutes looking at the offensive woman. As easy second passed the widow got angrier until she could no longer contain her rage, "How could you just sit there and act like nothing is wrong? How could you say those things to Rodney?" When it looked like Jeannie was going to say something, Jennifer stopped her. "I'm not done. Let me finish. You may have your opinion of what happened when he was sick last year, but you were too stuck in your own self-riotousness to see where I was coming from during that time. Rodney tried to tell you but you refused to listen. He told me as much. I know you saw me as some power hungry control freak that refused to admit that I had made a mistake and would rather let my patient die than to ask for help. I'm pretty sure that was close to your exact words. What your brother was trying to tell you was that I was only abiding by his wishes. I thought that was obvious when he came to in the cave and I was the one he yelled at, but apparently not," she said with biting sarcasm. "Everyone was concerned about wanting to say their goodbyes that no one stopped to ask what he wanted. You took him to that planet expecting him to die and in the end I'm the one you blamed. The end result was what we all hoped for, but it does not change the fact that it happened because of everyone else's selfishness. I'm grateful for the way things turned out because we got the chance at our happiness no matter how short it was. You really hurt Rodney with what you said to him. He thought you said it to get back at him for how he reacted when you told him about Kaleb. He believed that you didn't want him to be happy."

Jeannie sat back and took the verbal assault, knowing she in part had it coming. During the time that Rodney had been sick she never stopped to think what he wanted. She was only concerned about getting to say goodbye, "I didn't think that. I had no idea he was serious. Had I known..."

Jennifer was having a hard time biting her tongue as the woman in front of her was the perfect outlet for her anger and grief, "Would that have really changed anything? I don't think so; you would still have made your feelings for me clear. Don't think I hadn't heard it before; _What's someone like her see in someone like him?_ Hearing that got old real quick. We loved each other. It was that simple. It wasn't an infatuation that was meaningless. It was a true love that most usually search their whole lives for and I would do anything to have Rodney back. I'm still waiting for him to walk through the door and take into his arms and tell me that it was all a mistake and he found a way off the ship. That way we could continue the life we were planning." At the end of her passionate speech, Jennifer broke down into hysterics. "I just want to wake up from this nightmare and have everything back to like it was a few days ago. I never thought losing someone could hurt this much."

It was not hard to get swept up into the widow's emotionally charge speech. If seeing the picture did not change Jeannie's mind about Jennifer, the raw and true emotion that spilled forth as she talked about losing her husband did. "I'm sorry," it was all that she could offer for the moment as she digested Jennifer's words. "Please sit. I think we should talk."

A few hours later Radek saw the two women leave the lab with the faces stained with tears, but both wore a slight smile.


	12. Time to Say Goodbye

A/N: Coming into the final stretch of this story. Only a few chapters left and it will be time to put this one to bed. It was an emotional journey with this one and thanks to all that have stuck by this tale.

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**Chapter 12- Time to Say Goodbye**

The next five days were the worst of Jennifer's life and time all but blended into one blur. She could not distinguish where one day ended and the next began. The distraught woman had not left the comfort her quarters since her talk with Jeannie. She could not understand why people insisted on bothering her when the only thing she wanted was to be left alone. None of them had their life torn apart as she had. Sure, they would miss Rodney too but they were not the one who had just embarked on what was supposed to be the most amazing chapter of thier life. A chapter that only had a few lines written in it. Far from complete and with an end that would never be written. The only solace she had was imagining what could have been:

_A year from now they were welcoming their daughter, Catherine, in to the world. Little sister Elizabeth followed a year and a half later and then two years after that the twins: Olivia and Zoe. Jennifer thought four daughters would have been perfect for them. Fours little princesses to drive their father crazy while he loved every minute of it. As the years passed, their love for each other only grew stronger. Then one by one their daughters left the house and got married and grandchildren followed. Grandchildren eventually led to great-grandchildren. It was the type of life she dreamed of as a child and the one chance she had to make it a reality was gone forever._

Jennifer's hand stroked the empty spot in the bed, "Why couldn't I have that life?"

"Soon," a hushed voice shook Jennifer out of her imaginary world.

"Rodney?" she bolted out of the bed. Jennifer felt so chilled that it felt like it would take a long time to get warm. It was crazy to think that she heard Rodney's voice and she just passed it off as grief causing her to hallucinate. Her eyes were almost swollen shut from all the crying and she knew this day would only get worse. There would be no body in the casket as whatever remains of his body that were left after the explosion where floating in space. It was a fitting final resting spot for an astrophysicist.

A loud knock on the door bought the dazed woman back to reality. As much as Jennifer wanted to ignore the knock, she could not today. A second knock soon followed and this time a voice came, "Jennifer, it's Teyla. Can you please let me in?"

Jennifer wiped her eyes and swiped her hand over the door sensor. She knew it was almost time to leave for the funeral, "I know." She was drained of all emotion, "Five minutes. Give me five minutes."

Teyla was shocked at the woman's appearance; the swollen and sunken eyes, the unsteadiness on her feet and the paleness of her skin. She was extremely worried about the woman before her, "Do you need any help? Have you eaten anything today?"

The numb woman shook her head, "I'm fine. I'm not hungry. I just need to get dressed." Jennifer stepped away from the door to let it close. She exited the room several minutes later and saw her father standing next to Teyla. She was not ready to say goodbye, not that she would ever be ready.

Tom put his arm around his daughter, his heart breaking for his daughter's pain. He knew there were no words that would make it better. Time did not heal all wounds. "Today is the hardest day you will have to live through," he spoke from experience.

"I don't want to say goodbye. I don't think I can do it. This is not fair. Why can't I have my happy ending?" Jennifer sobbed into her father's shoulder.

"I don't know, baby. I don't know," he did know what else he could offer her. When his wife died, he already had twenty years of marriage with his Catherine and his daughter only had two weeks. He could imagine that they only started to make plans for the future and that the couple was excited to begin to follow through to have them violently ripped away.

The grieving woman did not want to talk anymore and just let her tears tall. Jennifer started to shiver as the chill she felt in her room got worse.

Tom felt Jennifer start to shake and held her tighter. _I wish I could help. I don't know how. _Holding her was the only comfort he could offer as they walked to the gateroom.

The Odyssey had returned from its secret mission and was going to beam those attending the funeral to Vancouver. The Kellers and Teyla were the only ones being sent directly to the house. Everyone else was sent to a central meeting spot near the funeral home.

"How do you ever get used to this?" Tom asked after he was beamed into a back room in Jeannie's home.

"After about the tenth time you don't feel it anymore, sir," John said. He had arrived a day earlier with Ronon to help Jeannie with any last minute arrangements. He was about to ask how Jennifer was holding up, but with one look at her the question did not need to be asked.

"Jennifer why don't you sit down?" Teyla took the dazed woman by the arm and lead her to one of the couches. "Do you need me to get you anything?"

Jennifer shook her head, "No thank you." She sat on the couch and looked around. _The one thing I want I cannot have_. There was no moment that Jennifer ever felt alone than right now. John was talking with her father, Teyla had just left to talk with Ronon and the rest of the people she did not recognize. Jeannie must have been upstairs as she was not in the living room.

"Hi," Madison said sheepishly as she looked at sad woman. The girl had no idea where her parents were and the crying blonde was the only one alone and looked like she could have used some cheering up.

"Hi," Jennifer returned the greeting. The grieving woman could not see through the tears as she twisted her chain and Rodney's ring around her finger.

The child could not grasp the full meaning of what was going on except that her mother was very sad and she said that her uncle would not be visiting anymore. "You shouldn't be so sad. You are too pretty to be sad," Madison took the empty spot next to Jennifer.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled slightly at the innocent naivety of the child, "It's hard not to be when you have to say goodbye to someone you love very much."

"My mom has been real sad since she got home. She has been crying a lot," Madison said with an innocence that could only come from a child. "Did you know my uncle? Why can't he come back?"

Jennifer's breath caught in the back of her throat, "Very well." She managed a small smile. "I don't know," the tears started to flow more than ever. "I would do anything to have him back. I'm going to miss him a whole lot."

"I'm going to miss him too," she said with a sad smile.

"There you are Madison. You weren't bothering your Aunt Jennifer, were you?" Jeannie said as she came into the room.

"No, it's fine," Jennifer tugged at the ring around her neck. It felt odd to be called an aunt, but that is what she technically became the moment Rodney put the ring on her finger.

"She's my aunt? Why did I never meet her before?" the confused child asked.

"Jennifer is married to your Uncle Mer, but he never got a chance to tell us he got married," Jeannie explained to her daughter.

"That makes her family," Madison watched as her mother nodded and she went and hugged Jennifer. "Welcome to the family."

"Thank you, Madison." It really meant a lot to hear those words. That would be the only bright spot on a very dark day.


	13. Reunion

A/N: Unbetaed. Mistakes are mine. Please read and review. Thanks

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**Chapter 13- Reunion**

After the funeral Jennifer wanted to be alone, knowing she was going to have to get used to this feeling. It was a chore to climb the stairs as what little energy she had left was used to get through the day. Everyone's nagging comments that she should eat played over in her head. As a physician, she knew better that not eating was a stupid move, but Jennifer was not hungry. Every time she took a bite of food, it felt like her stomach was on fire, causing bile to rise in her throat. The chill that followed Jennifer all day seemed to get worse, when she closed the door to spare room Jeannie said she could use.

The despondent woman wrapped her arms around herself, trying to warm herself up. She squeezed her eyes shut when the familiar scent of Rodney's aftershave filled her senses, "I'm going to drive myself crazy." Jennifer covered her face with her hands and started to sob again. Just when she thought there were no more tears left to shed, she found more to spill.

"You aren't going crazy."

Every muscle in Jennifer's body tensed, knowing she was not supposed to be hearing that voice. "Hearing a voice I shouldn't be hearing and telling me I'm not crazy?" she turned in the direction of the voice and her heart practically stopped at the vision in front of her. "Not crazy, am I? That's just what a hallucination is supposed to say."

"I'm not a hallucination, Jennifer. I'm really here…well sorta."

The grieving woman shook her head, refusing to believe what was in front of her was real, "You're dead, Rodney, aren't you? Dead people just don't appear."

Rodney rolled his eyes, "Yes, I'm dead. Come on, we lived in another galaxy. We saw strange things all the time. How is this any different?"

The dead man did have a point, "Then how are you here? Why are you here?" Jennifer reached out to touch her husband and choked back a sob as her hand went through him.

"That is the sort of part," he frowned, wanting nothing more than to take Jennifer into his arms and hold her until he made her pain go away. "I'm here to help," Rodney was being intentionally vague.

"Help?" she asked in disbelief. "There is nothing that could help besides having you back." Jennifer held out her hand trying to find a way to touch Rodney, but the sobbing became worse when nothing worked.

The tears made Rodney uncomfortable, "Please stop that. I always hated when you cried. See it goes both ways." He tried to touch her face, but his hand passed through his wife.

"Why did you do it? Why did you leave me?"

"I had no choice," it was a hard question to ask, as Rodney did not have an answer for it. He did not put any thought into it; he just did what needed to be done.

"No choice?" Jennifer was not sure if he really was hear or if she had really lost it and she was searching for the answers to the questions that came to mind when John handed her his wedding ring. "Couldn't John have stayed?"

"What if something had gone wrong? I couldn't have taken that risk. Instead of almost seven billion people dying, I was the only one. Do you think I could have passed something like that up?" it was an ill humored joke at the wrong time.

"But you are the only one that matters to me. What happened to all the plans we made? I don't even know how to begin to think about life without you," she too wanted to be held by him one last time.

_You won't have to. _Rodney had a grim expression on his face as he struggled with telling her the true reason for him being here. "I know," his gaze fell to the floor. "I love you and you trust me, right?"

The words did not put Jennifer at ease, "Of course I do. What is going on? There is something you aren't telling me, isn't there?" Rodney was never a good liar. "You aren't just a figment of my imagination?"

He shook his head, "Think of me as a noncorporeal entity."

"A ghost?" the scared woman asked with a measure of doubt.

"I never liked that word much. Reminds me too much of poorly executed movies, but if you must then the answer is yes. Though I like my way better. Makes me sound cooler," Rodney hoped that would get a laugh out of her.

It worked as Jennifer shook her head, "Even as a gho...excuse me, noncorporeal entity you still are a dork." At least death did not change his personality that attracted her to him.

The entity shrugged his shoulders and smirked, "I wouldn't be me if I wasn't. But, you made a lifelong commitment to put up with all my corniness and dorkedness. Even if my end of my deal ended a week ago," Rodney finished with an impish smirk. "I can understand if you don't want to put with it," the smirk fell to a lopsided grin.

"My part will never end. I'll love you forever. You are the missing piece of me that I'll never get back," Jennifer moved to the edge of the bed and sat down. "Are you sure there is no way you can hold me one last time to say goodbye?"

"We are on different levels of existence. We cannot have any physical contact unless we are on the same level," he explained. As much as Rodney wished he could do that, the time was not right. _I won't be missing for long._

"Once a scientist, always a scientist, I guess?"

"Something like that," he shrugged. "The past six months that we were together were the best of my life. I never knew a love like ours was possible."

The sentiment caused Jennifer to cry again, "A once in a lifetime chance. I would not change one moment of our time together."

"Neither would I," Rodney was torn over what was about to happen. On one hand, it was too soon for it to happen and on the other hand, both would get what they yearned for; a chance at happiness together.

As the grieving woman cried more, the more her body was drained of energy. "I'm so tired, Rodney. I don't want to close my eyes and have you gone when I wake up."

He sighed heavily, "Don't worry, my love. I'm not going anywhere. When you wake up I'll still be here."

Jennifer laid down, not taking her eyes off her husband, "You promise?"

Rodney crossed his fingers over his chest, "I cross my heart."

That was all the woman needed to hear and she closed her eyes and was soon asleep. An hour later, Jennifer opened her eyes and sat up. "You're still here," a smile crept onto her face.

He knew it had happened and there was no going back, "Where else would I go?" Rodney reached out to touch Jennifer's cheek and smiled when he was able to touch her.

Jennifer was shocked when she felt the warm hand on her face, "Am I dreaming?"

"No," his thumb caressed the bottom of her chin. From Rodney's vantage point he saw Jennifer's physical body and the noncorporeal one on the same level of existence as him.

**TBC!**

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End A/N: There is only one chapter left and this story will be done. Thank you for all your support and reviews. And thank you to those who have read, but did not leave reviews.


	14. New Beginning

**A/N:** This is the final chapter of the emotional roller coaster of a story. Thank you to those who stuck through this the whole journey. This was a very difficult piece to write. Special thank you to Shadows-of-Realm for the beta and ladygris for help with the final line.

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**Chapter 14- A New Beginning**

"Rodney, what is going on?" Jennifer was not sure she wanted an answer to her question. For the moment, she wanted to enjoy the feeling of his hand on her face, afraid that it would be gone any second.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know how to tell you," Rodney frowned. "I just wanted to be here for you when it happened."

She always hated it when Rodney was vague, "When what happened?" Jennifer was clueless as to what he meant until she turned as saw her body behind her on the bed. "Rodney?" the fear was very present in her voice.

"I know," his voice was full of emotion. Watching your wife die was hard to witness even being dead yourself. Rodney's feelings were torn. On one hand, Jennifer was too young to die and he thought she deserved to have a long happy life. Then the selfish part of him knew that her death meant that they had their chance to have that forever they had begun to make plans for.

"Am I dead?" her voice shook with uncertainty as her hand grabbed for his.

"Yes. Just like me," he gave his wife's hand a reassuring squeeze.

"How?" Jennifer was beginning to panic. She never thought losing the love of her life would literally kill her.

"Shh. It's going to be okay," Rodney pulled her into his arms. It felt better than ever and he tightened his hold on her. "Dehydration and extreme stress exacerbated an undiagnosed heart condition."

"If you hadn't died, you would have lost me anyway," she refused to let go, scared that if she did that she would never get a chance to hold her love again.

He shook his head, "The condition would have been treatable. I'm sorry I did this to you."

"Sorry for loving me? How can you be sorry for that?" Jennifer lifted her head from his chest to look into his eyes.

"If I never fell in love with you, you would still be alive." Rodney knew it was a big change from his earlier words about not changing anything about their time together, but now that Jennifer was dead he felt guilty about causing it. He averted his eyes so she would not see the shame.

"Rodney, look at me," the dead physician forced him to look at her. "Why the sudden change from before?"

He still managed not to look at his wife, "I thought that by coming here I could have changed things. That you wouldn't have to die. Then there is part of me that is kind of glad this happened. I know that sounds really bad."

Jennifer pulled away from Rodney and sighed. Her mind was spinning, trying to come to terms with what happened. "I made the choices that bought me here," she tried to get him to see that. "It's not bad to think that. The missing part of me is no longer missing."

Rodney looked over at the love of his life, "This still isn't right."

"Like losing you two weeks after we got married was right?" she knew there was no way he could argue with that point. Jennifer saw his mouth flapping to find a way to prove her wrong. "You know I'm right. There is only one way I think I could be alright with this."

"How can you be alright with this?" the obvious was passing right over his head.

"Do you even need to ask?" Jennifer drew her husband in for a kiss to give him a taste of what she meant. "We still can be together, right?" she pulled pressed her lips against his neck. "Last time I saw you, you promised to pick up where we left off with that kiss."

Rodney finally got the hint, "I think together for eternity just took on a whole new meaning."

"I'm up for trying if you are. We don't have to give up on the plans we started to make," she started to smile when another realization hit her.

"What?" the smile was contagious.

"Have to give you something back," Jennifer reached around her neck and pulled off her chain. She took the ring from the chain and slid the wedding band back onto its original owner. "Now it's perfect."

Rodney looked down at his hand, "Yes, it is. Forever with you. I wouldn't have it any other way."

To show she felt the same way, Jennifer smiled before giving her eternal partner another kiss as a way to begin their new life together.

Their time together alive might have been short, but now the two souls that were made for each other could explore their love that transcended this mortal coil.


End file.
